The Unicorn I'm Riding

Joy pushes through my veins pumping lush pale pink frosting to every tiny crevice inside me

Joy pushes through my veins pumping lush pale pink frosting to every tiny crevice inside me. Deep breathes of happiness draw down deep all the way to my feet as I sit still as a mouse just letting the feeling of sweetness wash over. None of it matters I realize. The cars stuck in traffic for hours, the bill for the electricity I can’t pay this week, how he yelled at me this morning, why are we going to war again? None of this is relevant to me the moment I take a deep pull and feel the taste of plastic-y sweet tang on my throat. I can float above myself and above the tiny play houses in this town that isn’t real.

Reality is subjective. Choose to approach your days with the vibration of nothingness and it will be returned to you. Choose to fill up your soul with sugary sweetness and it can’t help but spill out the seams of your arms as you reach up to grab the last carton of milk in the store. I’d rather melt into a puddle of sticky syrup than dry up and crumble into nothing. So I drink down the option he put in front of me and wander into a world made of crepe paper petals. Barely alighting on a surface as I drift through ethers. I love this foray and try and visit as often as possible.

Tomorrow a cup of dark coffee will raise to my quivering lips and I will taste the bitter reality of human-ness once more. This moment though, I grasp for me and the unicorn I’m riding.

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Footnote: Rest assured this is written from a past tense perspective and I am very much sober. (: However, it was my first writing about doing drugs and remembering what it was like to feel that freedom. My goal in life since than is to find that same joy without the part that would eventually destroy my soul. Would love to hear what brings you unbridled joy these days. Lord knows we could use more of it.